My mother’s path to motherhood was rocky, to say the least. After several miscarriages, doctors told her she would never be able to carry a baby to term. For someone as nurturing as my mom, this news hit like a truck. So when she got pregnant again with me and the doctor told her to expect twins, she was over the moon with joy. But around the end of the first trimester, she started bleeding and changes in her babies started to happen.
Inside my mother’s womb, a meeting was taking place. Her babies, me and my brother, were having it out with the Creatrix. Mamma’s body could only stand to hold one of us at a time. We already loved her so much; we needed to know which of us would make it physically into the world and who would be coming along as a stowaway. There was no way I was going to miss out on a chance at a new life. This was literally the opportunity of a lifetime, a chance to get my karma unstuck and make the world a better place for someone. Anyone.
Plans were discussed and made in milliseconds. All the while, our mother knew her babies would be joining into one body. We heard her prayer of love and protection that we both make it through this safely. At last, the new scripts were written and my body was lost. It drifted away and I drifted inward. My brother’s body made the space to nestle me safely inside and we grew together in this body from that moment onward.
You may be wondering how I could possibly recall any of this when science says there is no way to have any memories from before we’re three years old. My thought is that my mom remembering her heritage and her prayer that we would come safely into the world as twins in one body made it possible for me to keep conscious memories of my soul’s experience at that tender time in my life.
Long before the settlement of this country by the Europeans, the First Nations of North America believed in the divinity of difference. There were hunters and gatherers, men and women, and something more. In today's societies, we have rediscovered evidence that the Indigenous people of this continent honored more than a binary system of gender identity based on the sexes of members of the tribe. Those who lived outside the terms of "man" and "woman" were often referred to as Two Spirits: having both a male and a female spirit within their bodies at once. As time progressed and European settlers tore down and rebuilt the way of life in America, Indigenous peoples lost thousands of years of cultural history and traditions. We are displaced and only now recovering the language for this vital part of our lineage.
My name is Catori. I am a Two-Spirit, and I share a physical body with my brother Jonathan. We now go by a chosen name, Jacy, which means “moon”. A celestial body with its own magick that grows even stronger when supported by another. My name Catori means “spirit”, a fitting name given that is exactly what I am.
As a Two-Spirit, my brother and I have learned to navigate life as a team. We had to get comfortable with our body early, a complicated journey when one of you is a boy and the other is definitely a girl. Our clothes became a tool for us to balance the polarities of our expression. We joke that he gets his jeans and I get my skirts. But Two-Spirit life is more than just clothes and gender conflict. It is the balancing of the spiritual and the physical in all things.
In the eyes of my ancestors, people like myself and my family were respected in the tribe as messengers and teachers of the Great Spirit. We were given certain roles among our people as basket weavers, artisans, and medicine people. During the Sun and Moon Lodge ceremonies, Two Spirits were the climbers of the Sun and Moon poles to place the medicine bundles of herbs and offerings that signified the blessing of the ceremony by the Great Spirit. We were essential members of the tribes.
At eighteen, we were called by our ancestors to learn the old ways of our people and walk the Good Red Road. Along our spiritual path, we have had to work hard to unlearn, de-trigger, and heal from a lot of what we learned and experienced in our childhood. Boys didn’t wear dresses back then. Our physical sister was the “only girl” and Dad would never accept the “daughter in his son” story. It takes a lot of forgiving the world for what it did to people you love to be an honest and upright Two-Spirit.
Our transformation, like all things, took time. We have been blessed to meet and work with other Two-Spirits. We have learned how to walk our path from those who walk with Grandmother and Grandfather’s medicine- the magick and making of dreams into reality. Through both of us working to be our best selves and walk together as one, we have been blessed with a happy union to our Two-Spirit partner Rhori, who is Rho and Roi, and with our babies Jeorgi and Kaelynn, who also share a body.
We live in a time when society is making room for diversity in our global community and the normalization of diversity in the gender spectrum is growing. This has stimulated the growth of non-binary communities in the world and brought about the time for the prophecied return of the Two Spirits, those blessed with the spirits of man and woman in harmony within. Being a Two-Spirit is not about labeling yourself male or female, trans, gay, or accepting labels that separate you from another. It is about the understanding that we are all connected and sharing your perspectives of duality in the Nature you are and teaching others to honor that in themselves. It is honoring the healing, receptivity, and strength the Creatrix gives to all people and stepping up to that place of reverence with humility and compassion for others. May we all stand up and reclaim our place in reverence again.
Jacy Moonspirit is one of 4ofLikeKind's founders and Intuitive Consultants. They are a Tarot Expert, Oracle Reader, Minister, Reiki Master, Medicine Persons and more!